In one study published by the Independent in 2017, 44% of girls have no idea what is happening when they get their period. Moreover, 60% felt scared, 58% felt embarssed, and half hid their periods and didn’t tell anybody else.
Menstruation is a natural function that most women experience, and it indicates that you are healthy and fertile. The path to removing stigma surrounding a normal, healthy bodily function starts in the way we educate our daughters about their bodies as they grow and develop.
Here are some tips on how to talk about menstruation with your daughter.
When Should You Discuss Menstruation With Your Daughter?
This topic typically infers that there’s one big talk that should be had with your child, but the goal should instead be an initial talk that open ongoing dialogue so that you can address questions as the develop for your daughter.
It’s also important to note that menstruation should be explained to your sons as well. Even if they won’t experience it, it will help them understand biological differences, body awareness and general respect for what others are going through.
There’s also the aspect of age appropriate conversation, which means that the way you teach your daughter about her changing body will also change over time.
If your five year old sees a period product and asks you what it is, you could explain that women bleed a little from their vagina every month, and it’s different from an injury. They bleed so the body can be ready for a baby, and the tampon or pad catches the blood so that it doesn’t get all over their clothes.
As they get older and ask more question, you can give your child more information. If your child doesn’t voluntarily ask questions about the subject, you can start the conversation yourself.
Most children can understand how periods work around 6 or 7 years old. You can bring it up naturally in situations like the following:
- If your child asks where babies come from
- When kids start asking questions about changing bodies or puberty
- If you’re at the store buying tampons or pads
First, ask if your daughter knows what periods are. Then, you can explain the basics, like:
- As a girl matures into a woman, her body starts changing in order for her to have a baby when she grows up.
- The baby grows in a place called a uterus.
- Every month, the uterus wall prepares for a baby. If there isn’t a baby, the uterus wall comes off and bleeds a little, which comes out of a woman’s vagina.
It’s also worth mentioning that some women choose not to have babies, but they still get their periods.
Tips To Keep In Mind When Talking About Periods
What you talk about with your child depends on their age and development level. Here are some general guidelines to keep in mind:
- Be factual: You may not be an expert or a gynecologist, but it’s essential to be as informed and straightforward as possible about how a period works, what it is, why the occur, and what your daughter may experience when she experiences hers.
- Be prepared and helpful: Discuss practical tips for what they should expect before and throughout a menstrual cycle. Don’t be shy about sharing your own experiences, even (especially) the “embarassing” ones, as it can be a bonding experience that shows them how natural and human it is to menstruate. Hearing about your own experiences helps provide a direct example of why they shouldn’t be embarassed, ashamed, or afraid of menstruation.
- Skip the lecture: While you can certainly go about it like an at-home health class, it’s often more helpful to treat the conversation like an open dicussion where your daughter is encouraged to express her concerns, thoughts, and questions. That way it doesn’t feel as intimidating, and your daughter will feel more comfortable continuing the conversation when she has more questions.
- Discuss period products: Inform your daughter about all of her options, from tampons and maxi pads to menstrual cups and period underwear, so that she feels comfortable about having options. If your daughter already has her period, plan a shopping trip to try different period products and let your daughter select the one she feels the most comfortable with. Make sure she understands that how she deals with her period is about her own hygiene, health, and comfort, not what others may recommend or what her friends use.
- Boys need to learn about periods too: A large percentage of women who experienced period shaming say that it was a male acquintance who made them feel that way. All kids are curious about human bodies, and part of moving past period shame is educating all young people about basic biological function.
Caleb